It was perfect weather last night when Flying Bats Bloodgrad met Slippery when Wet on the field.
Slippery when Wet and Bloodgrad came into the game in 3rd and 4th place on the table, respectively, with 11 and 10 points. In full playoff contention, but not "safe". Both teams, especially Bloodgrad, would be in much better shape with a win. A draw leaves us both vulnerable to events in other games. So this was going to be a no-holds-barred, all-in, showdown.
The spectators expected a treat and 10,000 screaming fans showed up! The Slippery Underworld coach revealed his (literal) secret weapon - the classic Star Player Fungus the Loon! He also collected a sizable donation to the St. Chiro Home for Blind Referees.
Slippery when Wet won the coin toss and chose offense, and immediately set to work against the Bloodgrad defense. First block of the game, Troll "Whale" blocks Svetlana on the line, splattering her into several pieces and ending her glorious career. Bloodgrad viewers will remember Svetlana's game-saving blitz in game 2, bravely eating a faceful of dirt to bring down the opposing ball carrier, putting herself into the hospital with a Niggling Injury but also knocking out the filthy Ghoul and saving a touchdown in what would be a 1-0 victory. Rest in peace, Svetlana. You will be remembered.
Anyway, the Slippery fish continued their dirty work; Fungus knocked out another Thrall on the line, and Slippery Blitzer "Dorade" demonstrated that he was as strong as a Vampire on a blitz when using his horns. We thought those were just for decoration! But it turns out they are actually hugely effective.
Bloodgrad's defense looked awfully shaky playing 9 vs 12 (
), and two Vampires standing around, dreamy-eyed instead of gazing tackle zones away didn't make things much better. Eventually some clever maneuvering (and the Vampires actually playing instead of just standing around dreaming of delicious, refreshing blood) got us a hit on the ball carrier (Gutter Runner "Koi"), who sadly did not go down. Turns out Block, Dodge, and 2 Heads is hard to keep pinned down, and Koi ran forward safe. One last chance (gaze a defender to give Thrall #15 Olyek (Wrestle) 2 dice on the ball carrier) failed with snake eyes on the gaze. Koi considered running around for a moment but then ran in the safe TD.
Bloodgrad's first half offense started well enough, knocking out a Goblin and causing a Casualty (cheap Stunty casualties still count!!!), but eventually the pressures of keeping the ball carrier (Mimi Mie, Sure Hands) safe, bringing players forwards, and drinking enough delicious, satisfying blood gave the Slippery defenders their chance; Mimi Mie (still 1 SPP away from getting Block) was brought down and knocked out (and would not return for the second half offense), players in scoring range got blitzed down and fouled, and the offense went nowhere. 0:1 at halftime. Both teams had enough players to play 11 vs 12 (
) in the second half.
Vampire offense is hard. Coach Rolo tried, Vampires started off so well, everything was looking good. Fungus moved forward to threaten the ball carrier (Tatiana de Fanguinar), she was further tagged up by Koi and the Skaven Thrower "Lamprey 2". She just had to dodge and run left to safety ... but it turns out that Vampires are slow, Skaven are fast, and with a few clutch dodges and a Troll block, "Safety" wasn't as safe as I thought. Tatiana was blitzed down, ball was caught by Koi, and things started looking bad.
Bloodgrad managed a blitz on Koi, but couldn't bring him down with 4 dice. Koi ran forward, looked reasonably safe, and Fungus moved out to try to clear some space ... only to roll triple both down. Coach Sambre spent a reroll and shouted some helpful advice from the sidelines, which was completely ignored, Fungus smashed himself in the face with his Ball & Chain, and sent himself directly to the CAS box. Cheap Stunty casualties still count!
Anyway, Bloodgrad was truly inspired by watching the medics cart Fungus off the field, and the next several turns were glorious. The Troll was gazed, letting a Thrall sprint into range to take down Koi. Pow! And KO! Ball was covered, goblins and snotlings got mashed, Slippery players started leaving the field. "Cheap stunty casualties still count", I hear. Lamprey gave us a scare, blitzing his way forward, picking up the ball in a tackle zone, and dodging free ... but he was brought down, left the field, ball scattered into the crowd, who helpfully tossed it far to the right where only Vampires could get it. More cheap stunty casualties and KOs ensued, and some frankly brilliant (Sambre says super lucky) ball handling put the ball in the hands of Prince Vlad von Bloodgrad, who has now scored 7 of the team's 11 touchdowns. The only move from Slippery was hoping for a lucky Goblin toss ... Whale managed to stop himself from eating the poor Gobbo but otherwise the play ended with a Goblin planted in the dirt, far from Vlad. One cheap "Blitz action" and a rush later, and the score stood at a hard-fought 1:1.
Underworld one-turner, without rerolls, failed on the hand-off.
Thank you for a fun, epic game! Both teams had some hard luck and some amazing actions. Underworld were closer to a win than the Vampires, overall, but both can be happy with a draw.
Playoff Picture is still complex. Neither team has clinched a playoff slot yet, and with Slippery when Wet in 3rd place and Bloodgrad in 4th with 12 and 11 points, respectively, Pussy Galore's Flying Circus (10 pts) and Family Affears (9 pts), with both teams having two matches left to play are still very much alive. Fans can look forward to some exciting games in April and May with massive playoff implications!
